13 August 2012

My Life Versus

I had a moment last night. I complained in a journal that life is hard right now, that disappointment in one area seems to be a constant companion and that there's never enough money or opportunity to do what I want to do.

It felt so real then.

And yet so paltry too. So mean.

Goatherd, Somalia

I have it so different. So good.

Pictures like this make me appreciate my own childhood, my present circumstances, pinched though they may sometimes be, lazy though they undeniably are. Leisurely. Safe. With so little effort required—I have to invent tasks for myself sometimes. 

So many opportunities, even at my fingertips. I can sit in a chair all day, moving nothing but my fingertips, and still get by. I'm about to pursue a master's degree after graduating from college at age 21 and with no debt. I'll go into this new experience without debt too. The most strenuous thing I had to do today was make 50 muffins and get ready to host a nutrition class this evening. The things I worried most about yesterday were 1) whether my skirt really hid all my problem areas and my heels elongated my legs enough and 2) how I'm going to orchestrate the death of one of the main characters in my novel. I have to make time for exercise to somehow balance out my mega calorie intake every day. And I complain about it.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have to work from sunup to sundown for that day's meal. For life to be a matter of survival rather than entertainment and complaint about never having the perfect job or the right amount of money. Or the right figure. For crying out loud. As I sit in my favorite comfy chair and type and look up pictures on the Internet.

What mettle it must take to live such a life as that child. In some ways, I feel I'm missing out. But in reality, I'm grateful for my multitude of blessings (adequate means, an entire closet full of shoes and clothes, a computer, an iPod, indoor plumbing, central heat/air, the Internet, hardwood/carpeted floors, pictures on the walls, a phone, a car, a house, a bed, a portfolio, a grassy yard with trees, a safe neighborhood, a loving family, college and books and films and games and so much food that my fridge and stomach are always full, even when I complain about there being nothing in there to eat).

And I want to pray tonight. Thank God for giving me such a good life. Pray for that child and others like her, that someday I may be able to do something for them with what I have been given.

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